Sunday, April 11, 2010

Something Recent Enough

161 miles divided by 60 means 2 hours and 41 minutes until they reach Chicago, if they stay a steady 60. Ben has been averaging 72, but this all happened before they missed I-80, when the sunset had still offered reading light.

She tries to concentrate on the essay, but she's absent. She stares at the waist high fences along the highway; a thin line that separates rural and road. With the tufts of husk and trash woven in the wire she practices geomancy, privately. She dances with the white plastic bags that have snagged themselves on the barbs. She turns to Kate and asks what she thinks the fences are for. Kate says, 'Probably to keep coyotes out of the fields.'

It makes her think about when she was little, when her father joked about a mangled coyote lying in the highway margin. "Look, Jones," her father said to her "look at that dog sleeping on the side of the road." She most vividly remembers it's unshut mouth. Second to that she swears she remembers a flick of its tail, a slow inhale. It's unlikely; they wouldve been moving too fast to see those things, but still she keeps them there, in her memory.

She sticks her fingers in her ears and tries to go back to her reading:

"For everyone (besides the errors common to human nature in general) has a cave or den of his own, which retracts and discolors the light of nature; owing either to his own proper and peculiar nature or his education and conversation with others; or to the reading of books, and the authority of those whom he esteems and admires; or to the differences of impressions, accordingly as they take place in a mind preoccupied and predisposed or in a mind indifferent and settled; or the like. So that the spirit of man (according as it is meted out to different individuals) is in face a thing variable and full of perturbation, and governed as it were by chance. Whence it was well observed by Heraclitus that men look for sciences in their own lesser worlds, and not in the greater or common world."

She skips and underlines "The human understanding when it has once adopted an opinion (either as being the received opinion or as being agreeable to itself) draws all things else to support and agree with it."

When she looks up again, they are passing a big white truck. She smiles up to a hat and a pair of sunglasses. Her uncle is a trucker and though she doesnt see him very often, she sees the profession in his disposition. He is always roaming, always restless, prone to shutting himself up in his cartesian mental space. He never overstays his welcome: always tired. The trucker returns her gesture, giving a quick smirk before looking back to the road.

In the margin of her book she writes, "Similar to Aquinas- errors of judgment come when the intellect and the will are incongruent. (Intellect, uncorrupted, Will, corrupted)"

The white plastic bags reach toward the farmland. They long to drape themselves over neuronic power lines. They long to lay with one another on fresh earth, to explore this unfamiliar universe that is the rural. She turns to Kate and asks, "do you think maybe they put them up to protect the rabbits from the freeway? "

"The fences?"

She nods.

Kate laughs. "So they can be hit by the tractors?"

She chooses to believe the question isn’t rhetorical, but still, she does not answer it; she just waits for another mile marker. The truth is--and she knows it--she is too superstitious and stubborn. She can't stop believing that coyote really did move.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Tardis


"Human beings are like the Tardis of Dr. Who. The Tardis is this small frame the size of a telephone box that the Doctor travels through space and time in, but when you open up the doors, it's got infinite proportions, all these rooms and chambers, and it goes on forever. That's a beautiful analogy of human subjectivity. This fragile frame that you could walk around opens up to an infinite inner world, the subjective world. And so, when somebody shows up and appears, they're also still to come. They're there in present, but there's so much of them still to learn, so much of them still to know, every person is like a universe. And when someone shows up, our desire is not satisfied, our desire is deepened, and we want to explore that relationship and explore that life. Hence marriage is a lifelong commitment to explore the universe that is the other person."
-Peter Rollins, $200 Conversions

Well, I like this.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

One of the better conversations about CS Lewis I've had.

From a while back...

Kimberly Jane Prijatel Dude, I am SO TIRED of CS Lewis arguments.

Micah Sergey
Micah Sergey 
why kim? he's obviously the best intellectual we've got in the whole 2000+ years of our tradition

Micah Sergey
Micah Sergey 
and he smoked a pipe. omg thats so cool!

Kimberly Jane Prijatel
Kimberly Jane Prijatel 
Yeah, but that pipe was more pipe-ish than a pipe of our world. It had pipe-like qualities, but even more pipe-y.

Micah Sergey
Micah Sergey 
the pipe was so pipey that the smoker feels that there must be some outside judge that determines 'pipeiness.' god exists, qed!

Kimberly Jane Prijatel
Kimberly Jane Prijatel 
Either he was a lunatic and thought he was smoking a pipe (while in reality it was merely a nice chunk of herring he got in the market), he was a liar, who boasted about a pipe to appear fashionable, or he really did smoke a pipe and he reigned over that pipey pipe in a way that demands all pipes to submit to him. Now, I don't think he was a lunatic, and I don't think he lied. Therefore, the only conclusion we can make is that he did in fact smoke a pipe and all pipes MUST allow him to smoke them.

Micah Sergey
Micah Sergey 
this made me smile

Kimberly Jane Prijatel
Kimberly Jane Prijatel 
nice cop out.

Micah Sergey
Micah Sergey 
did i tell you that i copped your mom out

Kimberly Jane Prijatel
Kimberly Jane Prijatel 
did you MERELY cop my mom out?

Micah Sergey
Micah Sergey 
no, i practiced a severe mercy

Kimberly Jane Prijatel
Kimberly Jane Prijatel 
Well even so, the result was a Great Divorce.

Jonathan Knowles
Jonathan Knowles 
wow, I love what happened here.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Breaking from Metaphysics midterm into something semi-creative/fun.


In Morton, Illinois this morning I ate my bread with strawberry freezer-jam. I climbed the ladder in the barn. I watched her drive away. I hugged an old friend. I thought of things I said not to. I peeled the cucumbers.


I learned freezer-jam is self-explanatory. That straw and hay are not the same. That she came back for her luggage. That he loves electric sheep. That things really are getting better. That these aren’t enough olives for a really good Albanian salad.


But the jam can’t be left out at room temperature. And the straw on the second floor gets slick. She said she needs to think for a while. His hair got so long. It’s foolish to infer. The cherry tomatoes are pre-washed.


So I store it in a Mason jar. I slid and fell into the bale of straw. They drove away together and missed dinner. He almost bought an organ. Think of the likelihood. The ratio of lemon juice to olive oil is 2:7.


This cold slush reminds me of summer smoothies. This straw smells heavenly. They’ll come back laughing, later. He's wearing a new sweater. Keep it out of sight. It's too cold to conclude; I'm missing the feta. ALSO, I LOVE DAN.



Sunday, February 14, 2010

More Gilead

"I really can't tell what's beautiful anymore. I passed two young fellows on the street the other day. I know who they are, they work at the garage. They're not churchgoing, either one of them, just decent rascally young fellows who have to be joking all the time, and there they were, propped up against the garage wall in the sunshine, lighting up their cigarettes. They're always so black with grease and so strong with gasoline I don't know why they don't catch fire themselves. They were passing remarks back and forth the way they do and laughing that wicked way they have. And it seemed beautiful to me. It is an amazing thing to watch people laugh, the way it sort of takes them over. Sometimes they really do struggle with it. I see that in church often enough So I wonder what it is and where it comes from, and I wonder what it expends out of your system, so that you have to do it till you're done, like crying in a way, I suppose, except that laughter is much more easily spent."- Marilynne Robinson

I love this book to pieces.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Because I love this picture...

This is the manifestation of Joy





Friday, January 22, 2010

'Marriage' by Gregory Corso: a poem I appreciate

Should I get married? Should I be good?
Astound the girl next door with my velvet suit and faustus hood?
Don't take her to movies but to cemeteries
tell all about werewolf bathtubs and forked clarinets
then desire her and kiss her and all the preliminaries
and she going just so far and I understanding why
not getting angry saying You must feel! It's beautiful to feel!
Instead take her in my arms lean against an old crooked tombstone
and woo her the entire night the constellations in the sky-

When she introduces me to her parents
back straightened, hair finally combed, strangled by a tie,
should I sit with my knees together on their 3rd degree sofa
and not ask Where's the bathroom?
How else to feel other than I am,
often thinking Flash Gordon soap-
O how terrible it must be for a young man
seated before a family and the family thinking
We never saw him before! He wants our Mary Lou!
After tea and homemade cookies they ask What do you do for a living?

Should I tell them? Would they like me then?
Say All right get married, we're losing a daughter
but we're gaining a son-
And should I then ask Where's the bathroom?

O God, and the wedding! All her family and her friends
and only a handful of mine all scroungy and bearded
just wait to get at the drinks and food-
And the priest! he looking at me as if I masturbated
asking me Do you take this woman for your lawful wedded wife?
And I trembling what to say say Pie Glue!
I kiss the bride all those corny men slapping me on the back
She's all yours, boy! Ha-ha-ha!
And in their eyes you could see some obscene honeymoon going on-
Then all that absurd rice and clanky cans and shoes
Niagara Falls! Hordes of us! Husbands! Wives! Flowers! Chocolates!
All streaming into cozy hotels
All going to do the same thing tonight
The indifferent clerk he knowing what was going to happen
The lobby zombies they knowing what
The whistling elevator man he knowing
Everybody knowing! I'd almost be inclined not to do anything!
Stay up all night! Stare that hotel clerk in the eye!
Screaming: I deny honeymoon! I deny honeymoon!
running rampant into those almost climactic suites
yelling Radio belly! Cat shovel!
O I'd live in Niagara forever! in a dark cave beneath the Falls
I'd sit there the Mad Honeymooner
devising ways to break marriages, a scourge of bigamy
a saint of divorce-

But I should get married I should be good
How nice it'd be to come home to her
and sit by the fireplace and she in the kitchen
aproned young and lovely wanting my baby
and so happy about me she burns the roast beef
and comes crying to me and I get up from my big papa chair
saying Christmas teeth! Radiant brains! Apple deaf!
God what a husband I'd make! Yes, I should get married!
So much to do! Like sneaking into Mr Jones' house late at night
and cover his golf clubs with 1920 Norwegian books
Like hanging a picture of Rimbaud on the lawnmower
like pasting Tannu Tuva postage stamps all over the picket fence
like when Mrs Kindhead comes to collect for the Community Chest
grab her and tell her There are unfavorable omens in the sky!
And when the mayor comes to get my vote tell him
When are you going to stop people killing whales!
And when the milkman comes leave him a note in the bottle
Penguin dust, bring me penguin dust, I want penguin dust-

Yes if I should get married and it's Connecticut and snow
and she gives birth to a child and I am sleepless, worn,
up for nights, head bowed against a quiet window, the past behind me,
finding myself in the most common of situations a trembling man
knowledged with responsibility not twig-smear nor Roman coin soup-
O what would that be like!
Surely I'd give it for a nipple a rubber Tacitus
For a rattle a bag of broken Bach records
Tack Della Francesca all over its crib
Sew the Greek alphabet on its bib
And build for its playpen a roofless Parthenon

No, I doubt I'd be that kind of father
Not rural not snow no quiet window
but hot smelly tight New York City
seven flights up, roaches and rats in the walls
a fat Reichian wife screeching over potatoes Get a job!
And five nose running brats in love with Batman
And the neighbors all toothless and dry haired
like those hag masses of the 18th century
all wanting to come in and watch TV
The landlord wants his rent
Grocery store Blue Cross Gas & Electric Knights of Columbus
impossible to lie back and dream Telephone snow, ghost parking-
No! I should not get married! I should never get married!
But-imagine if I were married to a beautiful sophisticated woman
tall and pale wearing an elegant black dress and long black gloves
holding a cigarette holder in one hand and a highball in the other
and we lived high up in a penthouse with a huge window
from which we could see all of New York and even farther on clearer days
No, can't imagine myself married to that pleasant prison dream-

O but what about love? I forget love
not that I am incapable of love
It's just that I see love as odd as wearing shoes-
I never wanted to marry a girl who was like my mother
And Ingrid Bergman was always impossible
And there's maybe a girl now but she's already married
And I don't like men and-
But there's got to be somebody!
Because what if I'm 60 years old and not married,
all alone in a furnished room with pee stains on my underwear
and everybody else is married! All the universe married but me!

Ah, yet well I know that were a woman possible as I am possible
then marriage would be possible-
Like SHE in her lonely alien gaud waiting her Egyptian lover
so i wait-bereft of 2,000 years and the bath of life.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

For the sake of updating my blog, here's a Kurt Vonnegut quote.

[When Vonnegut tells his wife he's going out to buy an envelope] Oh, she says, well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And, see some great looking babes. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And, and ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don't know. The moral of the story is, is we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And, we're not supposed to dance at all anymore.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Favorite thanksgiving story...

From Grandma Prijatel:
In response to Millhouse's [my sister's dog] Batman Halloween costume...
"I used to dress up Twinkle [her former schnauzer] all the time. One time I dressed Twinkle up like a little cowgirl (laughs). She had on her little denim jeans and shirt, and her little 'kerchief. I put her on a leash and took her over to the dog park and all the neighborhood kids got a real hoot out of her, thought she was really something. And then she got worms. I never took her to that dog park again."

Thursday, October 22, 2009

I have figured out the ultimate late 90's/early 2000's anti-climatical situation...

'Eiffel 65' on a Segway, drinking Pepsi Blue and discussing Y2K, holding a 50-state quarter map.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Starry Night Over the Rhone

I feel like I have to justify any blog post I do/state that it's beneficial or funny so it doesn't look like I'm thinking "hey everyone, come see how great I am!" I am not going to do that (instead, I'll end up inserting a more sophisticated disclaimer right here, right?-Take that awareness of the awareness!) But here's assignment for advanced composition: name something that worries you, and construct an essay with that thing and Van Gogh's Starry Night Over the Rhone. 

...
Depending on lighting and the quality of the camera when the picture was taken, the overall tone of Starry Night Over the Rhone is blue or green. I think it’s green, but the closest I'll ever get to it are search engines and digital images of different sizes and shades. My favorite version is deep, sickly green; it has the calming effect of completion and symmetry. Rather than abrupt transitions or sudden cutoffs, the distinctive lines are blurred and lights fade softly. The subjects of the picture are calm, quiet under a sky of stars that look germy and the streetlights reflecting down like static waves, like trails of sneezes.

The sneeze is the release of tension; it cleanses the nasal cavity. Sneezing is the body’s natural defense against viral infections, pathogens and other harmful particles. It can be induced by extremely minty tastes and or an overstuffed stomach. There is also what is known as the photic sneeze reflex, when exposure to light overwhelms the nerves and contracts the pupils. The sneeze is designed to cope with overstimulation. To sum it up neatly, it clears the head.

The sneeze is powerful; it’s been called ‘a force akin to a fire hose,’ recorded to expulse air at the power of 135 feet per second. Stifling something of that magnitude has its effects. Suppressing a sneeze can burst the eardrums and possibly spread germs the body expels into the sinus tissues. Stifling can cause the face to swell, the bleeding of the retinas, and can even rupture dormant brain aneurisms. To stifle the sneeze is to violently reprimand our body for its natural reactions.

I’m supposed to analyze the painting, but I’ll allow Starry Night Over the Rhone to carry me away with it. My eyes will involuntarily close, I’ll allow the composition and components to grant me harmony, clear away my mind's dissonant particles.


PSA: Don't stifle sneezes, friends. I hate it.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Why We Should Read Hamlet...

Background: My Western Literature professor (Futrell) decided on whim that we had to write a 1 page paper on 'Why Everyone Should Read Hamlet' (For the record, I have had to do an assignment similar to this every time i have read Hamlet).  I wrote this response; I thought I would put it up here cause I thought there was a chance it might get you to laugh. I figure there's a small chance that at least Nate Reed might find it funny....

Why We Should Read Hamlet


Although Hamlet, Prince of Denmark is a book specifically designed for a young male audience, it is a book that every teenager, both male and female, should read! In a sex-saturated culture, from billboards and advertisements to clothing, Hamlet provides practical tips for young men on how to get the grips on their thought-life, wandering eyes and their wandering minds, and outlines a realistic plan for boys on how to stay pure.


William Shakespeare, author of Hamlet writes the play to challenge boys to live up to the standard of Ephesians 5:3-”“there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality.” Shakespeare addresses the hard-to-discuss topics and answers the tough questions many boys have, but are afraid to ask about masterbation, sexuality, and ‘how far is too far.’


But this play isn’t only a great read for guys. Hamlet is great for girls as well, providing a picture of how the male mind works and learn how they can help guys stay pure as well.


Hamlet is a great read or gift for any person, small group, or bible study. Combined with the numerous discussion guides available online, Hamlet, Prince of Denmark is a helpful and beneficial resource on winning the battle against temptation.


*Update: I received credit for this paper.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Tentative copy of 'I hate birds.' Feel free to make suggestions.

 I hate birds


I had never seen Winston before that economics class, but no one else knew him either. He was a weird presence: that schnauzerous name combined with a bored face and an ambiguous hefty build--“Is he on the football team?" "No.”-- Really nothing about him was distinct: he sat relatively toward the back of room C35 between 9:04-9:52 the second semester of my third year of high school, two-thousand seven in the year of our Lord. 


The hideous florescent colors public schools paint their walls with promote attentiveness, which is why C35 had been graced with the finest off-whites, sea-foamed greens and siennas. Even if the allegation is true, the room was so comfortably warm, the desks were already broken-in, and those florescent lights were much too bright for morning eyes. 


It didn't help that Dr. Peterson was as turtle-like as the next high school Economics teacher. He had a beaky philtrum, skinny neck and underbelly sweater vests, coupled with a pinched voice. His teaching philosophy was to strongly encourage discussion, and therefore his grading policy solely on participation. He learned early in his career that the only way to fight against the elements was to phrase nearly everything he said as a question; the twenty of us would wait for the moments we could raise our hands and feign passion on some economic issue we knew nothing about so that Dr. Peterson would check our name off three times on the attendance sheet-except for Winston. Winston never participated; he never uttered a word. While we all rushed to stockpile our grade and hear ourselves speak, Winston sat like a stone. An unexplained and unaffected elephant-shaped stone that only I seemed to be baffled by. I needed to know what his deal was: where did he come from? Why had I never seen him before? What sort of things did he like to do? Was he on drugs? Was he a total idiot that had no idea what was going on, or was he some sort of genius that was so intelligent, he found no use taking part in our half-assed conversations? 


“By a show of hands, how many of you know what the state bird is?” Dr. Peterson said one unparticular day. “The state bird? the state bird is the cardinal. Yes, the cardinal. Some people like to joke and say that the other state bird is the orange barrel, the orange barrel meaning road construction, and those barrels, that seem to just drop in for half the year”


Then Winston spoke. “I hate birds,” he said.


Dr. Peterson went on with the lecture. He said the point was to illustrate supply and demand economics, like when a trend suddenly is in high-demand and everyone has to have one of something, and the prices fluctuate.


I was disoriented: that illustration had absolutely nothing to do with our conversation. It tied in so loosely to the subject matter that I thought some sort of divine intervention had just taken place. But what did it mean? Why did he hate birds? What horrific wrong did birds commit? What could birds have done that had lodged itself so strongly in his psyche, that he could not remain silent on this issue? What had birds done that he just couldn't take anymore? Is 'birds' symbolic? 


Winston might've worked in a pet shop last summer. Among his lengthy list of duties would be to clean the bird room. Every day, he'd enter their congested quarters that was louder than Eden, inhaling their tufts and cleaning up their shit. He would wonder if the birds could even understand one another or if each obnoxious squawk or twittering outburst was only an attempt to make their presence known, to capture anyone's attention long enough to be registered or affirmed. He hated cleaning up their shit.


Maybe when Winston was ten his parents got divorced. On the day that they told him, they might have called him inside from the backyard, where he was watching the bird feeder he made in class the day before. He had slathered peanut butter over a pine cone and rolled it in bird seed and now twirled on an oak in the backyard. He just stared at his parents and the cordial distance between them on the couch, not sure what to think, and he would have wished the birds hadn't flown away whenever he tried to come closer, before he was called inside. Now whenever he thinks of birds, all he can remember is their standoffishness.


Maybe his girlfriend broke up with him on the bench in the park where they made out for the first time. It was dark then, but this time it was early afternoon, and instead of warm winds, serene stars and his mouth on hers, the pond was mephitic and the bench was surrounded by a minefield of limp green turds. She probably said “It’s not you, it’s me,” but she was tired of him, and he never opened up to her, anyway. He would awkwardly reach out to touch her shoulder and she'd flinch. Then he would've sat there long after she left, watching geese run after one another's tails sauntering over to him, desiring crusts of bread over companionship.


Maybe Winston hated that birds were always in the peripheral, out of reach, elusive. Maybe he hated that whenever he tried to mimic their caws, they seemed unimpressed with his efforts. Maybe they just reminded him of something that continues as he gets older: that he feels very unable to connect with anyone and that he is unable to communicate effectively, and it makes his voice falter and his words jumble. Maybe they reminded him that he's confined to one way of observing the world and all he'd ever be was someone else's peripheral. It's completely absurd that I will never know Winston outside of 'I hate birds' and nor would he, if he even paid attention, know me outside of my tally marks. 


Winston doesn't require faith in the thought that despite fragmentation, muddled words and dissonance, it is possible and holy that we might be able to receive a glimpse of a person. He probably doesn't find that miraculous.


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Gilead


"There was a young couple strolling along half a block ahead of me. The sun had come up brilliantly after a heavy rain, and the trees were glistening and very wet. On some impulse, plain exuberance, I suppose, the fellow jumped up and caught hold of a branch, and a storm of luminous water came pouring down on the two of them, and they laughed and took off running, the girl sweeping water off her hair and her dress as if she were a little bit disgusted, but she wasn't. It was a beautiful thing to see, like something from a myth. I don't know why i thought of that now, except perhaps because it is easy to believe in such moments that water was made primarily for blessing, and only secondarily for growing vegetables or doing the wash. I wish I had paid more attention to it. My list of regrets are unusual, but who can know that they are, really. This is an interesting planet. It deserves all the attention you can give it."- Marilynne Robinson, Gilead.


Thursday, July 2, 2009

Thomas Kinkade

*Reason #13 Why I hate Mentor, Ohio:
I was driving past my former bank when I noticed a large, bold-print sign strewn across the 'art gallery' next to it.
This sign read "THOMAS KINKADE GRAND OPENING."

Aw, Ef.

*For those of you who are not familiar with Thomas Kinkade...
-Thomas Kinkade is the smell of old women, and not nostalgic baking grammas- the bitter ones who heckle over a dime on miniature glass baskets at garage sales: the staunch smell of mothballs and senility.

-Thomas Kinkade is the sound of an elementary school Recorder recital.

-Thomas Kinkade is the third bite of that second Cadbury Creme Egg hitting your stomach.

-Thomas Kinkade is the old sweatshirt with the bear in a rocking chair printed on it for sale at the Salvtion Army that is so faded, oversized, and lame that not even scenesters will buy it for irony.

(Interjection: I think we should start doing Thomas Kinkade jokes like these all the time. Chuck Norris is old.)

-Thomas Kinkade is the douchebag responsible for paintings like these:







So the other night, my friends Mark and Brett and I were discussing how Mr. Kinkade is the worst painter ever and wondering what he is like in real life, so we took a trip over to his Wikipedia page. This is what was found:

"In 2006 John Dandois, Media Arts Group executive, recounted a story that on one occasion ("about six years ago") Kinkade became drunk at a Siegfried and Roy magic show in Las Vegas and began shouting "Codpiece! Codpiece!" at the performers. "

"The Los Angeles Times has reported that some of Kinkade's former colleagues, employees, and even collectors of his work say that he has a long history of cursing and heckling other artists and performers. The Times further reported that he openly groped a woman's breasts at a South Bend, Indiana sales event, and mentioned his proclivity for ritual territory marking through urination, once relieving himself on a Winnie the Pooh figure at a Disney site while saying "This one’s for you, Walt."

-WHAT THE HECK. 
I am actually quite impressed. If anything, Kinkade has more credit in my book. I mean, I used to think he was only a horrible artist, but the guys gotta know what he is doing: he can't be all that  much of a total unrealistic idiot if he also has the gull to urinate on Winnie the Pooh, you know? Maybe Kinkade is actually a mastermind who has us all fooled.
Well played, Thomas, you sick freak.